Hello Pandora,

My name is Bonnie. I am a 35 year old pre op MTF in NY. I was reading your article To Pass Or Not To Pass? Is That the Question? by Pandora in Vol 1 Issue 3 and have had the exact feelings and fears for some time. I am still discovering myself as I have only been out for about 10 months (actually found out what was different with me since a very young age) and have heard some people say “you will not be a real woman”, “woman born women only, etc. I have also heard that we MTFs simply do this to mock women (are the ftm‘s mocking men?)! All this “trouble” I am going through with hormones, electrolosis, people being non accepting (I have been lucky in this dept as all my friends accept me for me), worrying about housing (I am also disabled so talk about tough already with this issue), how my fellow special police officers will see me when I come out to the Dept. as I will not be able to “hide it” much longer NOR DO I WANT TO. I would want nothing more in my life than to be accepted for who I am. Not a tranny woman but me, a woman. Since I could not chose who I felt I was at birth, I have decided to correct it…

Bonnie