Tell Us About Your Sex Life: The Results
(Warning: Explicit conversation ahead. Cover your eyes. Consider yourself warned.)
The results are in!
In the Winter 2001 issue of Trans Health I asked for your comments on sexualities. I am still receiving responses to the survey, even though two issues have gone by.
First of all we would like to thank everyone who participated in this survey. We got some interesting responses, and I would especially like to thank the people who had the time to write detailed accounts and comments on the questions.
85% of the people who responded were very enthusiastic about sex.
Here are some more details.
Guess the Gender, Win a Prize
15% of respondents identified neither as FTM nor MTF. The “other” responses ranged from genderqueer to fag to (my favourite) “queer as fuck.” Remaining respondents were split almost 50/50 between identities as FTM/MTF. We did get responses from three non-trans-identified partners of trans people; those were great to see!
Do Who You Gotta Do
Not all respondents had partners; two had not had recent sexual experiences, and one was committed to abstinence. Fewer than 15% of respondents who reported using hormones said that their sex drive had decreased since starting the hormones, and only one of them was using estrogens. I find that a compelling correlation that furthers my belief that sexual arousal is more mental than physiological. That is especially significant for MTF women who use hormones, because it demonstrates that starting estrogens needn’t kill your sex drive! In fact, many women (including yours truly) and 90% of the guys reported that sex is significantly more enjoyable— with more pleasure, better orgasms, and more sensual and erotically sensory experiences— since starting hormones.
Most of the FTM guys reported an increase in sexual interest; this ranged from “slight increase” to “I want to fuck all of the time.” Right on, fellas.
Another trend in the area of partners was that more than 50% respondents expressed some degree of sexual fluidity; their interests had changed since transition, occasionally several times. Many guys who used to consider themselves part of a lesbian community now reported interest in other men. I received a few ass fucking fantasies from the boys. I think you fellas should write porn. Mrowr.
One thing I found neat was that many of the trans-identified people had partners who also identified as trans. I like this because it means that we as a community recognize that we are sexy beasts! One particular respondent had three other regular partners who were all trans. You go, girl! Another respondent reported that he was interested in other trans people, and whether they were FTM, MTF or genderqueer was irrelevant to him, and that he thought we were all sexy.
Call me. We’ll do lunch.
A few people said that coming out as trans had been disastrous for their current or past relationships. That is a real shame. 20% of the folks who wrote in were still in relationships with the same partner who was with them during transition.
Only 10% of the respondents said that they had not found other relationships since the problematic ones; most had moved on to bigger and better things.
You Take the Bad With the Good
The survey asked what problems and what benefits you saw related to your being trans. One of the gutsiest respondents took me to task for even implying that they were related, saying that gender and sexuality weren’t tied to one another. I love getting critiques like that— if you can tell me that I need to be more open and fluid, then go for it!
Only 60% of respondents even reported problems with their sexualities that were related to being trans; 40% of people said that there were no problems at all. I find that to be a very encouraging number. Of the 60% who said there were problems, half of those said that they were related to coming out issues. 55% of respondents said that they had problems or some sense of discomfort with the factory equipment and were thinking about upgrades.
Almost 75% of respondents said that the ability to see things from the standpoints of other genders was a benefit of being trans. Maybe, as Mistress Krista says, transfolk really are the next stage in human evolution. We should start issuing edicts or having world domination meetings or something.
Two women and one guy were so enthusiastic about the result of starting hormone therapy that they discussed it in three different places on the survey. Including me, four separate women said that orgasms were much more prolonged and enjoyable since starting estrogens; only one woman said that they went by quicker. Six guys said that their orgasms were longer and more enjoyable, too.
I did ask what people wished they could experience that they had not experienced before. This is where many of you really went above and beyond the call of duty. In addition to the aforementioned ass fucking fantasies (both giving and receiving), I received detailed accounts of penetration fantasies (pitching and catching) by both men and women. 90% of the trans women stated explicitly that they wanted to experience vaginal penetration, and 80% of trans guys said that they wanted to put their cocks in other boys’ bottoms. Y’all are such a perverted bunch, and I love every one of you for it.
Keep the responses coming! I learn something new each time I get a new one, and I will be reporting on trends as long as people keep telling me about what they do in the bedroom (or on the kitchen table, or on the washing machine, or in their mom’s closet, or wherever).
Big sloppy smooches,