Silly Passing Tips for Transsexuals
Most transsexual men and women desperately want to be accepted in their new gender. However, achieving this goal at the physical level requires years of transitioning, which may include expensive surgery not everyone can afford.
Here are some less expensive (and not so serious) tips to help you pass:
Male to Female
- Convert to Islam, so you get to wear a burqa at all times.
- Learn sign language and hang out exclusively with Deaf people, so you don't have to ever use your non-passing male voice again.
- Blame your hairy legs on your Mediterranean heritage.
- Claim that your period is quite torrential. That bulge in your pants is really just an extra-thick sanitary pad.
- Sell your testes on eBay and use the money for your surgery fund.
- Claim you were an athlete in East Germany during communism, and they pumped you full of steroids.
Female to Male
- Become a Michael Jackson impersonator, so your high-pitched voice matches your look.
- Become extremely fat, so it looks normal to have boobs as a man.
- Masturbate a lot, hoping that the myth is true, that it will make hair grow on your hands.
- Make moaning sounds while you pee in the stalls and pretend you are a man who poohs a lot.
- Move to a country where everyone is really short, so you become one of the tallest men.
- Invent a time machine, so you can travel to the future when trannies have taken over the world.
- Wear a really, really tall mohawk or Elvis hair to visually increase your height.
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Disclaimer: This page is meant as humour and does not intend to offend. The author of this page is transsexual herself and feels that it is healthy to be able to laugh at yourself.